I understand what you’re saying.
That sounds nice, doesn’t it?
After all, that like someone telling you they get you and don’t we all want to connect to someone who gets us, who listens.
As a writer, I strive for clarity. To understand my story, the reader needs to understand what I’m saying. I’m not going to enjoy a story much if I open the page and all the words are in German. I don’t read German.
So usually when someone says, “I understand what you’re saying.” your first thought might be ‘Oh praise Buddha.’
And maybe you’re right. Lately, the phrase causes me to gnash my teeth and growl. For the last month, I’ve dealt with insurance companies, service departments, mortgages companies, contractors, retail stores and customer service department who all used the phrase I understand what you’re saying.
They don’t.
It’s one big fat manipulative lie. The person on the other end of the phone, only understands that they’ve had to check their ability for independent thought at the time clock and read off the acceptable responses given to them.
There is no middle ground allowed, and they certainly don’t care if they solve your problem or not. They get paid regardless.
Which is fine, in one respect. I don’t begrudge them a paycheck.
I do begrudge a paycheck to the slimeball who’s teaching them such manipulative tactics. In fact, I begrudge that lump of human detritus oxygen, food and clean water. In fact, I hope the people who teach customer service representatives to give false hope, pretend sympathy and other drag humanity down to the level of swamp gas rots for all eternity.
Because I’ve had all the phony commiseration I can handle, and none of it has gotten my house fixed, reversed the charges on my visa, or reimbursed me for those hours I’ve spent on the phone.