Friday Funny-Police Humor


Thanks to Hugh for these funny pix. Be sure to read to the end for some for some funny lines:DFwdPolic FwdPolic-1 FwdPolic-2 FwdPolic-3 FwdPolic-4 FwdPolic-5 FwdPolic-6 FwdPolic-7 FwdPolic-8 FwdPolic-9 FwdPolic-10 FwdPolic-11 FwdPolic-12 FwdPolic-13 FwdPolic-14 FwdPolic-15 FwdPolic-16 FwdPolic-17 FwdPolic-18 FwdPolic-19 FwdPolic-20

Southern cops have a way with words

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

2.  “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.” (My Favorite)

4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?  Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.” (LOVE IT)

6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket,  huh?”

7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another  ticket.”

9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

12.  “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.”(National Crime Information Center )

13.  “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”

14.  “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”


16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets?  You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

About Linda Andrews

Linda Andrews lives with her husband and three children in Phoenix, Arizona. When she announced to her family that her paranormal romance was to be published, her sister pronounce: "What else would she write? She’s never been normal." All kidding aside, writing has become a surprising passion. So just how did a scientist start to write paranormal romances? What other option is there when you’re married to romantic man and live in a haunted house? If you’ve enjoyed her stories or want to share your own paranormal experience feel free to email the author at She’d love to hear from you.
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2 Responses to Friday Funny-Police Humor

  1. danrshaw says:

    LMAO Really liked the photos with the drug dogs and the cop sitting on the pavement next to the kid in the toy car.

  2. Mike says:

    This is a true story from one of America’s most violent cities. A police officer had unwittingly pulled over a suspect that was wanted for murder during a routine traffic stop. As the officer approached the suspect’s rolled-down driver’s window, the suspect shot the cop in his right shoulder. The officer drew his own gun and shot the suspect five times in the head and killed him. Later, at the Coroner’s Inquest, the cop was on the witness stand being questioned by a local ACLU lawyer, who asked to officer, “Can you tell us, officer, why you shot Mr X five times, and in the head?

    “Yes Sir,” said the cop. “To tell you the truth, my arm was hurting so bad I couldn’t get the last round off.”

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