Friday Funny—Little Bits

While I sat in the reception area
of my doctor’s office, a woman rolled  an elderly man
in a wheelchair into the room.  As she went
to the receptionist’s desk, the man sat there, alone
and silent.  Just as I was thinking I should make
small talk with him, a little boy slipped off
his mother’s lap and  walked over to
the wheelchair.  Placing his hand on the
man’s, he said, ‘I know how you feel.  My
mom makes me ride in the stroller too.’
*****

As I was nursing
my baby, my cousin’s six-year-old
daughter, Krissy, came into the room.
Never having seen anyone breast feed
before, she was intrigued and full of all
kinds of questions about what I was doing.
After mulling over my answers, she remarked, ‘My mom
has some of those, but I don’t think she knows
how to use them.’

*****

Out bicycling
one day with my eight-year-old
granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a  little
wistful.  ‘In ten years,’ I said, ‘you’ll want
to  be with your friends and you won’t go
walking, biking, and  swimming with me like you do
now.  Carolyn shrugged.  ‘In ten years you’ll be
too old to do all those things  anyway.’

******

Working as a pediatric
nurse, I had the difficult assignment
of giving immunization shots to  children.
One day, I entered the examining room to give
four-year-old Lizzie her needle. ‘No, no, no!’ she
screamed.  ‘Lizzie,’ scolded her mother, ‘that’s
not polite behavior.’  With that, the girl
yelled even  louder, ‘No, thank you!  No, thank
you!

******

On the way back from a Cub
Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son,
‘Dad, I know babies come from mommies’ tummies, but
how do they get there in the first place?’  After my
son hemmed and hawed awhile,  my grandson finally
spoke up in disgust, ‘You don’t have to make
up something, Dad.  It’s okay if you don’t
know the answer.’

*****
Just before I
was deployed to Iraq , I  sat my eight-year-old
son down and broke the news to  him.  ‘I’m
going to be away for a long time,’ I told
him.  ‘I’m going to Iraq .’   ‘Why?’ he
asked.  ‘Don’t you know there’s a war going
on  over there?’

*****

Paul Newman
founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for
children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood
diseases.  One afternoon, he and his wife,
Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with
the kids.  A counselor at a nearby
table, suspecting the young patients
wouldn’t know Newman was a famous movie star,
explained, ‘That’s the man who made this camp
possible.  Maybe you’ve seen his picture on
his salad dressing bottle?’  Blank
stares.  ‘Well, you’ve probably seen his face on
his lemonade carton.’  An eight-year-old girl
perked  up.  ‘How long was he missing?’

*****

His wife’s graveside
service was just barely finished, when  there was
a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous
bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder
rumbling in the distance.  The little, old man
looked at the  pastor and calmly said,
‘Well, she’s there.

About Linda Andrews

Linda Andrews lives with her husband and three children in Phoenix, Arizona. When she announced to her family that her paranormal romance was to be published, her sister pronounce: "What else would she write? She’s never been normal." All kidding aside, writing has become a surprising passion. So just how did a scientist start to write paranormal romances? What other option is there when you’re married to romantic man and live in a haunted house? If you’ve enjoyed her stories or want to share your own paranormal experience feel free to email the author at www.lindaandrews.net She’d love to hear from you.
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