Friday Funny meets the Winter Warm-up Blog Hop

Blog Hop Button.5 (A)There’s nothing I love better than putting my cold feet on my husband’s legs and listening to him scream like a girl. Seriously, after 26+ years of marriage, he still marvels that I can work with a 450F oven and still have cold hands. It’s a gift. A gift, I say.

And I have a gift for you, but you have to read all the way to the end. Don’t worry it won’t be so bad. (the rafflecopter link is there too)

Why, because I firmly believe the most successful lives are those lived with humor and here’s some funny ones about marriage.

Marriage (Part I)

Macho man married good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
‘I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want — and I don’t expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner.
I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
When I want with my old buddies, and don’t you
Give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?’

His new bride said:
‘No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night…whether you’re here or not.’

(DARN SHE’S GOOD!)
************************************************
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, ‘When you die, I’m getting you a headstone
That reads, ‘Here Lies My Wife — Cold As Ever’!’

‘Yeah?’ she replies. ‘When you die, I’m getting you a headstone
That reads, ‘Here Lies My Husband — Stiff At Last’!’

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

*****************************************
Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, ‘And you are no
Good in bed either,’ and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and
Decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, ‘What took you so long to answer to the phone?’
She says, ‘I was in bed.’

‘In bed this early, doing what?’

‘Getting a second opinion!’

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

*****************************************

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
Wife,’ Mother of Six’ in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, ‘Shall we go home Mother of Six?’

His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion,
Shouts right back, ‘Any time you’re ready, Father of Four.’

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
*****************************************

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
And were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
To wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
Of paper, ‘Please wake me at 5:00 AM.’ He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
Was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn’t wakened him when he
Noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, ‘It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.’

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

****************************************

God may have created man before woman, but there
Is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Now, as I said I have a gift for you, so during the blog hop, my historical romance, A Gift from St. Nick is free for kindle.

AGiftfromStNickHans Lubeck lost his birthright to a woman’s deceitful games. Ten years later, he’s on the cusp of fulfilling his dream of captaining his own ship. And another woman could jeopardize everything.

Schoolteacher Lenore Kerrigan devotes her time to her pupils and good works. She has no use for a man or the damage he could do to her reputation.

But this holiday season, fate and an island of matchmakers have other plans. Will they accept the gift of a lifetime, or will the past steal away any chance at happiness?

amazon us

amazon uk

amazon ca

amazon au

a Rafflecopter giveaway

And now back to hopping: www.hopswithheart.blogspot.com

 

About Linda Andrews

Linda Andrews lives with her husband and three children in Phoenix, Arizona. When she announced to her family that her paranormal romance was to be published, her sister pronounce: "What else would she write? She’s never been normal." All kidding aside, writing has become a surprising passion. So just how did a scientist start to write paranormal romances? What other option is there when you’re married to romantic man and live in a haunted house? If you’ve enjoyed her stories or want to share your own paranormal experience feel free to email the author at www.lindaandrews.net She’d love to hear from you.
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8 Responses to Friday Funny meets the Winter Warm-up Blog Hop

  1. Thanks for the giggles! Looking forward to reading the book.

  2. Jen B says:

    They’re brilliant! I’m saving this to show my parents later, I think they’ll love it too.

  3. parisfanca says:

    such a great post thanks for sharing

    parisfan_ca@yahoo.com

  4. barniebad says:

    I have always believed in humor, mostly my own.. My father used to point out to me that after I told a joke, I was the only one in the room laughing. That’s still true and as long as I’m laughing everything is A Okay!

  5. Hi! Happy holidays! Thank you all for the fun!! Hope you have a blast with your family! Awesome post! Thanks for the chuckle! 🙂
    shadowluvs2read(at)gmail(dot)com

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