You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his Doctor instead of by the police.
Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
At my age, “getting a little action” means I don’t need to take a laxative.
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
You’re getting old when “getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
You’re getting old when your wife gives up fooling around for Lent, and you don’t know till the 4th of July.