Friday Funny—Groaners

Thanks to my friend Hugh I am sharing these really, bad politically incorrect jokes with you. Enjoy!

Nineteen Newfoundlanders
go to the cinema.  The ticket lady asks “Why so many of you?”

Buddy replies, “The film said 18 or over.”

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70.  Forget it, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

I was at an A.T.M.yesterday. A little old lady asked if I could check her
balance, so I pushed her over.

Statistically, six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy.

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 a m.
Can you believe that! 2:30 a m ?
Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said “You’re obviously not listening.”

The wife was counting all the nickels and dimes out on the kitchen table
when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no
I thought to myself, “She’s going through the change.”

My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker.  Well,
she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.

An East Indian fellow has moved in next door.
He has traveled the world, has swum with sharks, has
wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain.
It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair

About Linda Andrews

Linda Andrews lives with her husband and three children in Phoenix, Arizona. When she announced to her family that her paranormal romance was to be published, her sister pronounce: "What else would she write? She’s never been normal." All kidding aside, writing has become a surprising passion. So just how did a scientist start to write paranormal romances? What other option is there when you’re married to romantic man and live in a haunted house? If you’ve enjoyed her stories or want to share your own paranormal experience feel free to email the author at She’d love to hear from you.
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