Linda Andrews

I don’t know how many times I’ve had red marks scrawled across my paper because I’ve committed the unforgivable sin of using a semi-colon. Most of my critique partners sniff and say it’s just not done in popular writing–only literature.  Not done? But I just did it, and correctly too I might add. Besides, I don’t think the little used dot and comma considers itself sullied by being in my paranormal romance novel or my SciFi one either.

Another critique partner once quipped that semicolons encourage long sentences. I’ve judged enough contests and have had a few verbose writer friends to know that is a bald-faced lie. There are plenty of paragraph long sentence without a semicolon but plenty of commas. Why is no one calling for those evil commas to be banished to Prose Purgatory?

Okay, maybe I’m being a little overzealous in my defense of the poor, maligned semicolon. But it is one of the few punctuation marks that I know how to use properly. Why? Because once upon a time, I submitted a paper were the difference between an A and a B rested on its tiny shoulders. I got the B and never forgot how to use the semicolon.

So how does one use a semicolon? I’m glad you asked. Here are the three ways I distinctly remember:

1.) To connect two independent clauses (complete sentences, for us non-English majors) that are closely related but not linked by a conjunction. NOTE: For those who slept through English class and didn’t have the benefit of Schoolhouse Rock growing up, conjunctions are words like and, but, or, so, etc.)

Correct: I’m going out; the house smells like death.

Incorrect: I’m going out; to escape the smell of death.

Incorrect: I’m going out; and the house smells like death.

In the correctly used sentence above the semicolon replaces the conjunction.

2.) To connect a series of three or more items when commas are already present.

I’ve lived in Phoenix, Arizona; Sydney, Australia; Baltimore, Maryland; and Brooklyn, New York.

Notice that like a comma the semicolon is attached to the word that precedes it and separated by a space from the word that follows. NOTE: Unless the word that follows a semicolon is proper noun it should begin with a lowercase letter.

3.) To connect conjunctive adverbs and transitions. These include things like nevertheless, however, therefore and on the other hand.

Example: I was born in the United States; however, I am a British subject.

The interesting thing to note is that you don’t need to use it. In most cases, a period will work just fine. Guess that’s why some insecure people consider it showing off your college education. Why not? I paid for it. Don’t you show off your car, designer clothes, and latest electronic gadget?

‘Nuf said.

Description.

Some people love it, others hate it.

Used poorly, the story’s pacing tanks and readers set the book down. But used effectively, description brings the characters and story alive, drawing the reader in and keeping them emersed in another world long after they should have turned off the lights and gone to bed.

So how does one use description effectively? Below are four suggestions.

World building: Although this term is usually applied to Science Fiction and Fantasy, every writer needs to ground the reader in a time and place. For example:

Jane sat at the table and stared at her plate.

Technically, there’s nothing wrong with the sentence, but does it really convey what the reader needs to know? Does it tell us what genre we’re in? Here are different versions of the same action.

Jane perched on  a rickety wooden chair and gaped at the single black potato on the chipped blue plate. This was dinner?

Jane sank onto the cushioned high backed chair. The emerald green tablecloth crackled with static electricity where is rubbed against her silk ball gown. Regiments of sparkling crystal, shining silverware and towers of bone china reminded her that she was an interloper in the halls of the beau monde.

Enchancing mood: Snoopy typed out those magic words, ‘it was a dark and stormy night’ and I knew exactly what he meant and shivered in anticipation the story to come. Gothic romance is known for its brooding heroes and atmosphere. But whether you write dark suspense or romantic comedy, your description needs to amplify the mood.

Night crept into the room, swallowing the candles’ light before it reached the shadows lurking in the corners. The old mansion creaked and shuddered under the storm’s onslaught. Rain tapped on the window panes of the French doors, demanding entrance, while beyond the flagstone balcony topiaries twisted into grotesque monsters lurching ever closer to Jane’s sanctuary.

The sun beamed down from the clear blue sky like a giant smiley face. Droplets from last night’s shower caught the golden rays and cast rainbows about the park. Along the gravel path meandering through the verdant expanse, children splashed in the clear puddles. Jane laughed as a Chocolate Labrador tried to catch the diamond spray.

Echoing Emotion: How we react to people and things around us is often a reflection of what we feel.

“I wouldn’t have you if you were the last man on Earth,” Jane said.

“As far as you’re concerned, I’ll be the last man you’ll ever have,” he replied.

Quite bland really. Now try this…

“I wouldn’t have you if you were the last man on Earth.” Jane wiped her palm on the arm  of the overstuffed chair. The sweat coating her palms

changed the gray microfiber cloth to charcoal. Tears filled her eyes and the gallery of family photos on the opposite wall morphed into a kaledioscope of lies.

“As far as you’re concerned,” He raked her from head to toe with a scathing glare then marched acrossed the eclectically furnished livingroom and twisted the brass knob on the front door. “I’ll be the last man you’ll ever have.”

“I wouldn’t have you if you were the last man on Earth.” Jane flattened herself against the drywall. Her palms bumped over the orange peel texture and her racing heart seemed to transmit along the  white wall, rattling the framed photographs hanging not far from her.

“As far as you’re concerned,” he braced his hands on either side of her head, boxing her in while peppermint scented words caressed her bare shoulders. His body heat buffeted her, melting the  ice encasing her deterrmination. “I’ll be the last man you’ll ever have.”

Action/Reaction:  Everything your characters do has an effect and what better way to avoid musty, stale blocks of description than have your hero/heroine interact with their world.

Jane checked the flower arrangement and the place settings.

Jane’s fingers fumbled with a scarlet cabbage rose, pulling it to a place of honor amongs the others arranged in the Waterford vase. After adjusting the trajectory of one cattail, she smoothed the siilk tablecloth and centered fans of black linen napkins on their gilded plates.

Jane’s fingers fumbled with the black-eyed susans and daffodils in the mason jar. After adjusting the angle of a sprig of fern, she centered the makeshift vase over a burn mark on the scarred table and centered the triangular paper napkins over the mismatched plates.

Notice the verbs are the same in both sentences (conveying similiar emotions) but by choosing different words the luxury or lack thereof in each paragraph is different.

Of course great writers make things seem quite effortless and we’ll gobble up the words with little thought of the effort it took to get them on paper.  If you had to edit the following sentences, how would you change them?

Jane looked out the window and sighed. It’s going to be a nightmare getting home.

or

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jane declared.

“Wanna bet,” he replied.

This year, I’ve decided to reread some of the writing books in my library.  I wondered if, ten plus years on, I’d learn anything new. So far I am a third of the way through Writing for Emotional Impact by Karl Iglesias.

While I haven’t learned anything new, per se, I did find a nugget of wisdom that I don’t remember reading before. Basically, he said it’s not enough to give your hero/heroine traits when filling out your character questionnaire or interview, you must also decide how he/she will express those traits in your writing. By knowing the key actions/habits you will be able to show the reader the specific trait rather than telling them about it.

While I don’t remember reading this before, I know I have done this in my own writing. In The Christmas Village, my heroine Egypt chewed gum when she was nervous. First when she’s talking to her mom about going to her sister’s wedding. You see this isn’t just any wedding, her sister is marrying one of Egypt’s old boyfriends.

“I know, Mom. Besides, she has a boyfriend.” Nutz jumped onto the suitcase. The marmalade cat rolled onto his back and swatted at a patch of pink fluttering on the back of the sofa’s blue slipcover. Egypt tugged a piece of gum out of her pocket. Cinnamon exploded across her tongue. Light sparked off the silver foil as it sailed onto the coffee table. She should probably remove the damaged camisole. Should but wouldn’t. Gum popped in her mouth.

Unfortunately, Egypt has a knack for finding boyfriends for other people and what’s more her single girlfriends know it. And when she meets the hero, she fights getting involved because she wants him for herself, so now her gum chewing becomes a delaying tactic too.

“Great.” Egypt spit her gum into the foil wrapper and stuffed it into her pocket with all the other balls of spent nerves.

Using redundant body movements is also a good way to keep your secondary characters straight in the reader’s head. For my current Urban Fantasy, I have a young technician who pops up every once in a while. To remind the reader who he is, I have him stroke the wispy strands of his mustache. This has a bonus of also conveying that he isn’t very old.

Happy writing!