Me versus the Crock Pot

My crock pot hates me.

There, I said it. I put stuff in, turn it on and get mush or undercooked vegies out of it.

It’s a plot.

The toaster is in on it. I think they’re related.

I just don’t understand why I can’t master the darn thing. I can bake breads, cakes, pies and tarts. I can grill, saute, boil, deep fry, pressure cook and roast.

Yet, the crock pot and I are still at war after 20 years. I love to cook. I hate the darn green pot. I’m sure it’s possessed by evil spirits. These pitch-forked nar-do-wells spoon out the veggies so they’re undercook and the meat is shoe leather.

Most of the time when I come back, the lid is pulled back in lopsided smirk because it knows the much inside.

I bought a book with 1001 slow cooker recipes with the gift card my daughter gave me. I can deal with the fact that the recipes are naueseatingly bland. I can’t deal with the fact that the food turns out like crap.

So for now, I’m advancing in the opposite direction. The crock pot is being returned to its dark spot in the far corner of the cabinet (see, I told you it’s evil–it likes the dark).

But it has not won the war, just the battle.

I shall return (in about a year) and next time, I’m gonna kick some crockpot booty!

The coffee maker is grinning.

About Linda Andrews

Linda Andrews lives with her husband and three children in Phoenix, Arizona. When she announced to her family that her paranormal romance was to be published, her sister pronounce: "What else would she write? She’s never been normal." All kidding aside, writing has become a surprising passion. So just how did a scientist start to write paranormal romances? What other option is there when you’re married to romantic man and live in a haunted house? If you’ve enjoyed her stories or want to share your own paranormal experience feel free to email the author at She’d love to hear from you.
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6 Responses to Me versus the Crock Pot

  1. danrshaw says:

    there are only two things I use the crockpot for. Chili and beef stew. I found when using fresh veggies it’s best to parboil them before adding them to the crockpot. I parboil the potatoes also but never add them till an hour or so before it’s time to eat. It seems potatoes like to disintigrate if added too soon. If i’m using dried beans for the chili I always soak and cook them before adding to the crockpot. Usually I use canned beans. If using frozen veggies I always boil them first also.

    • Smarty pants. The mush was supposed to be beef stew. And isn’t parboiling cheating? I say this, one because you got your crockpot to work and two because the recipe doesn’t say to do that. However, in round whatever of me vs the crockpot, I just might do that.

  2. explodyfull says:

    I’ve never tried using a crockpot before…now I am nervous! what if mines turns out evil too!

  3. docdigit says:

    It’s because you’ve never written any books about them. Jealousy is an ugly emotion…

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