You can tell me. Honestly, I won’t get mad. Maybe it’s growing older. There should be some benefit to growing older, especially given the alternative, but I don’t think this is it.
What am I talking about?
My husband and I have gone to see 6 movies in the last 3 months. Two of them were kiddie movies (Monsters U and Despicable Me). I remember walking in with our family when our children were younger and having the solo adults sniff and expand there space cushion by plopping purses, jackets and other things between them and us.
I didn’t not want to be one of those people. If I got to a matinee, I expect children to be there.
So as we were sitting in the theatre, the seats start filling up with kiddies and mom and dad (or however the modern family is arranged). Sometimes Mom and Dad would leave said kiddies (in our row) and go sit somewhere else. In Despicable Me we sat next to 4 unattended children between the ages of 4 and 12, if that. I didn’t watch where mom and dad went. And to the children’s credit, they behaved very well throughout the movie.
The kid and his dad sitting next to me behaved during the movie.
The kids behind us didn’t kick our seats during the movie.
In fact, it was a pleasant experience until the end, roll credits and bump up the house lights. I texted my son to see if anything exciting happened at the end of the credits and was assured no, so we collected our trash and rose to leave.
Then a curious thing happened. I looked around and noticed that adults and children left their garbage behind. Few if anyone picked up their soda cups, popcorn bags or candy wrappers. What the hell!
I had to wade through the stuff. Seriously, when can’t you pick up your crap and toss it in the cans located conveniently by the exit you are passing? Kudos for having well behaved kids but I plan to kill you off in my next apocalyptic book for being such an selfish jerk face. See if I don’t—I can see it now.
Then I calmed down. But the next movie it happened again. And the next. WTF people. I am a mother but I am NOT your mother! Clean up after yourself.
Thankfully, I calmed down and went to work. When my coworker asked me how my weekend went I ranted about the mess at the theaters. She said it was even worse at some of our national parks. She and her family hauled out 5 bags of litter from Slide Rock near Sedona. And that was just in their immediate vicinity.
People are using National Parks as trash cans! And just like that I have a scene for a story. And you’ll all know it when Killer Gene comes out. Yep, and if you’re one of the scum-sucking toilet dwellers who are littering (Insert Alice’s Restaurant here) picture yourself as one of those sliced and diced. Because I’m picturing you that way.
‘Nuf said. Rant over, you are now free to move about the theatre and National parks.