As most of the country is beginning to defrost, those of us in the Valley of the Sun are wondering if we blinked and missed winter. Not that I’m complaining. The temperatures are only in the upper 80s or low 90s and I don’t have to turn on my AC as the house stays a cool 78 degrees Farenheit.
Given that it’s already late March and triple digit temperatures are just around the corner, hubby and I have been spending our weekends trimming , mowing and weeding the front and back yards. And while the weather is nice, working out in the beating sunshine is hot work. Saguaros and pretty much every other cacti don’t provide much shade.
So after the third hour and fourth water bottle, I decided to change into… shorts.
Now, I’m pigmentally challenged. In fact, most nights I don’t need a flashlight as I kinda glow in the dark. So after checking to make certain what little leg hair I have was shorter than the grass hubby was mowing, I slipped on my favorite pair of black shorts and snipped the ties on a new pair of Crocs then walked outside.
Thankfully, no car crashed from the blinding glow but lots of folks had to either shade their eyes or throw down their visor. Yes, in our modern age, such things can be avoided. I’ve seen the billboards advertising tanning crop up like toadstools after a hard rain. But my father has had more skin cancer than I care to think about.
As for the spray on tans, if I have to turn into an unnatural human color it wouldn’t be orange but purple with green spots. ‘Nuf said.
Linda Andrews 
I’ve been embarassed once wearing shorts. It was last winter and I went out to the street to check the mail and a sherrif pulled over and asked my why I was out there in the cold wearing only boots and a coat. My coat goes down below my knees and my shorts of course are above my knees. I was also wearing knee high rubber boots cause it had snowed the night before. He thought I was out there flashing traffic or something. I unbuttoned my coat to show him I was legit and he just started laughing his butt off. Told me I was wearing the most stupid looking winter outfit he’s ever seen. Told me I looked like a redneck. Well what does he expect here in NC???
Cutting grass in March? Hard to believe. I’m still trying to get up the leaves from last fall. It would be done already but we have to collect them all, put them through the leaf shredder and then add them to the compost pile. I used to be able to just blow them down the hill into the Kudzu but now that we are farmers I’m not allowed to do that anymore. My wife told me I was wasting a valuable resource. I always thought that was what Lowes was for. They do sell mulch in a bag there after all.
That’s too funny! Would have been even better if you had lots of fake watches pinned inside your coat.