Men Are Just Happier People —
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack…
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut
on a bolt.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister,
or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over
in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Everything on your face stays
its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years,
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes —
one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter
how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
Men Are Just Happier People
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will
affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in
$20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but
it’s on sale.
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom
is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man can forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two
people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor . ……
and to the men who will enjoy reading it