Here are two jokes to start your day. One is clean, the other slightly off-color
WHY SENIORS STILL NEED NEWSPAPERS
I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.
“This is the 21st century” she said. “We don’t waste money on newspapers. Here… use my iPad.”
I can tell you this….. that frigging fly never knew what hit him…
London cab driver's answer to a request from a Muslim to turn off the radio. (You just got to love the Brits.) A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel. The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door. The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?" The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel.."