Why Humanity is Doomed and Ways to Save Yourself

I have a book to finish. And I should have written much more than I did this last weekend. Okay, I should have written. But no, Netflix called and I answered.

So I binged watched a bunch of horror movies.

I love horror movies.

Now, before you judge me, remember it was Friday the 13th, so I had to watch horror movies. I’m sure it is a law somewhere. Of course, I didn’t just watch slasher flicks, but my favorite end of the world/town movies.

But watching them makes me realize how most people aren’t going to survive, and really the race might be better off, so here are a few survival tips that aren’t for the squeamish:

Don’t look back when you’re running. Apparently, this trope is never, ever going away because humans can’t stop doing it. Personally, while out walking the dog I finger my can of bear spray while glancing around while he’s doing his business. The headlamp helps pick out the eyes of predators.

The screaming girl (and every horror movie has one) needs to be tripped so the bad guys can kill her first, giving the rest a chance to get away. This is a mercy really. That screaming gets on my nerves.

Always have a big breasted friend, as they will die before you. If you need to hurry them along because they have an annoying habit of screaming, have them take off their top. Works every time.

Please do not stop and plan your next move while still surrounded by danger. This is the perfect time to consider your options. NOT!

Crying in the midst of a crisis always helps. Said no one ever. Slap them to get them to stop. If they scream, then see tip above.

Be sure to never leave the safety of your vehicle/boat/plane without checking to see if the wild dogs/zombies/crazies are nearby first.

Always, always, chop up, hack to pieces, and otherwise never ever take your eyes off the villain. Writers love series, and you’ll be the first to die.

That’s it. Feel free to add other tips gleaned from horror movies.

Until next time.

About Linda Andrews

Linda Andrews lives with her husband and three children in Phoenix, Arizona. When she announced to her family that her paranormal romance was to be published, her sister pronounce: "What else would she write? She’s never been normal." All kidding aside, writing has become a surprising passion. So just how did a scientist start to write paranormal romances? What other option is there when you’re married to romantic man and live in a haunted house? If you’ve enjoyed her stories or want to share your own paranormal experience feel free to email the author at www.lindaandrews.net She’d love to hear from you.
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2 Responses to Why Humanity is Doomed and Ways to Save Yourself

  1. Tina Cyphers-Hubler says:

    Tip # 92 (Give or take…)
    Always a fantastic idea to run upstairs to the highest level of a structure too…because then you’ll have nowhere left to run or hide when the homicidal maniac traps you! Wait… Bad idea. Send the screaming girl with giant boobs to hide upstairs. 😉

    By the way… When can we expect Hadean 3? I’ve been dying to read it forever!

    • Love it. I wonder if she’ll trip on the way up, just to be consistent. Or maybe to go against type, we could make it a big breasted dude? Of course, for the Zombie apocalypse the advice is to go high and remove the stairs so the zombies can’t get you. Of course, you can’t get out, so there’s that.

      Ellen, Drew, and the gang will be back late fall. I hoping to get two more books written for them (fingers crossed) but between now and then I’ve got to send the Syn-En home for their last book, write two fairy-tale inspired novellas, write the last paranormal holiday book for the Dugan brothers, 3-4 WW1 spy novels, one ticked off conspiracy book, and my Atlantis/Dragon book.

      I might be dead my New Years, but the voices in my head should be quiet for all of 2 seconds:D

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