I have a book to finish. And I should have written much more than I did this last weekend. Okay, I should have written. But no, Netflix called and I answered.
So I binged watched a bunch of horror movies.
I love horror movies.
Now, before you judge me, remember it was Friday the 13th, so I had to watch horror movies. I’m sure it is a law somewhere. Of course, I didn’t just watch slasher flicks, but my favorite end of the world/town movies.
But watching them makes me realize how most people aren’t going to survive, and really the race might be better off, so here are a few survival tips that aren’t for the squeamish:
Don’t look back when you’re running. Apparently, this trope is never, ever going away because humans can’t stop doing it. Personally, while out walking the dog I finger my can of bear spray while glancing around while he’s doing his business. The headlamp helps pick out the eyes of predators.
The screaming girl (and every horror movie has one) needs to be tripped so the bad guys can kill her first, giving the rest a chance to get away. This is a mercy really. That screaming gets on my nerves.
Always have a big breasted friend, as they will die before you. If you need to hurry them along because they have an annoying habit of screaming, have them take off their top. Works every time.
Please do not stop and plan your next move while still surrounded by danger. This is the perfect time to consider your options. NOT!
Crying in the midst of a crisis always helps. Said no one ever. Slap them to get them to stop. If they scream, then see tip above.
Be sure to never leave the safety of your vehicle/boat/plane without checking to see if the wild dogs/zombies/crazies are nearby first.
Always, always, chop up, hack to pieces, and otherwise never ever take your eyes off the villain. Writers love series, and you’ll be the first to die.
That’s it. Feel free to add other tips gleaned from horror movies.
Until next time.