Things No One Told Me

Growing older is an adventure. Not because of the things you do or visit, but because of what your body teaches you.

Things like groomed eyebrows can turn into Old-School Klingon eyebrows over night, and there’s always one hair that point accusingly at you in the mirror.

Chin whiskers are real things and come in many colors.

White hair grows everywhere.

For men, head hair migrates to the shoulders, backs, ears, and nose.

Age spots are reminders of the good old days when baby oil helped to fry us to a nice golden color.

Farting can be a means of propulsion for those needing a boost in the morning.

Years have an inverse relationship with how much you care about others opinions.

The well of fucks to give runs drier faster than ever before.

Sometimes, you are willing to give up those years at the end to do what you want.

And best of all, your brain may forget why you came into a room but your knees will remind you all about that skateboard/surfing accident from when you were 10.

So here’s to getting older.

It’s better than the alternative:D

Until next time.

About Linda Andrews

Linda Andrews lives with her husband and three children in Phoenix, Arizona. When she announced to her family that her paranormal romance was to be published, her sister pronounce: "What else would she write? She’s never been normal." All kidding aside, writing has become a surprising passion. So just how did a scientist start to write paranormal romances? What other option is there when you’re married to romantic man and live in a haunted house? If you’ve enjoyed her stories or want to share your own paranormal experience feel free to email the author at She’d love to hear from you.
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