Happy Memorial/Remembrance Day to those in the US.
And now a little bit of reading fun for those who like trivia.
Why is the the number 21 significant in the military?
http://www.history.army.mil/html/faq/salute.html
or if you prefer:
http://www.arlingtoncemetery.mil/events/Traditions/GunSalute21.aspx
Why does the VFW hand out poppies?
The definitive poem that references the Poppy dates from World War 1
http://www.worldwar1.com/heritage/rpoppy.htm
Captain Rune Lambert knows better than to trust a woman. He spends his days making the right connections to further his military career until he meets one woman who will tempt him like no other.
Laila Vigdis finds the perfect man in Captain Lambert only to watch her beautiful sister steal him away. And Rune doesn’t object.
When war erupts, Laila’s family side with the enemy. Caught in a tangle of treason and intrigue, she’s fighting for her life. Will Rune be her savior or executioner?
iBooks (coming soon)
This is what a normal City of Phoenix garbage can looks like:
This is what ours looked like after someone banged on our door at 11PM to let us know our garbage can was on fire:
We filled out the form to get a new one on Saturday. On Monday, they told us we could continue to use it. Um, how? Well, we found a use for it as we placed it by the curb for the city to exchange if for a new one. It slows down traffic better than a speed bump and even elicited a few chuckles.
When the city guy arrived today, he demanded to know what we had done. We summed up the events and he left chuckling, letting us know we would be the talk of the town by the day’s end.
I thought this was funny, so I’m passing this along.
Ya’ gotta love this guy!!!!!
Meet Walter Barnes – All golfers should live so long as to become this kind of old man!
Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?” 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.
“Mr. Barnes, it’s obviously not a good morning for golf. It’s good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”“I don’t have any,” he replied gruffly.
“Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?”
“Ninety-eight,” he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.
“Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?”
The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, “I outlived all them assholes” – and he calmly returned to his seat.
Thanks to Dan for passing this on. I now know what I want to be when I’m forced to grow up.
A mature (over 60) lady gets pulled over for speeding…
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner..
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies
Hi all,
Me and a bunch of authors are taking part in Brenda Novak’s Auction for a cure for diabetes. This is what I contributed to, but check it out. You may find other things to bid on for this worthy cause.
I’m so excited. Here is the new cover for my soon to be released World War 1 romance, Entanglements.
Isn’t it gorgeous?
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don’t work.
How do men define a “50/50″ relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder Instruction Manuals.
How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he’s concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
Two. If you slice them very thinly.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift to women?
Exchange him.
What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A power failure.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Language is a living thing. It evolves and changes with every generation. Sometimes a new word is created out of acronyms like ASAP, FUBAR and SNAFU. Other times, words are given new meaning, ie computer which referred a person not a product by Dell or Apple.
Some of our words come out of wars, such as over the top and no man’s land. Given that war involves the mixing of peoples who wouldn’t ordinarily mix, the increase in our vernacular shouldn’t be a surprise.
Except, sometimes you get thrown a curve ball and a word you took for granted bubbles up from murky depths not the rainbow and unicorn imaginings I’d believed.
While not all fronts during the Great War involved trenches, the trenches presented a unique kind of hell. Aside prospects of being buried alive if the walls collapsed, the dead occasionally bobbed up. Diseases, trenchfoot, fleas and lice ran rampant not just because of the muddy environment but because changing clothes, washing up and showering were not usually options.
During my research, I looked up treatments of lice. Men and lice are both communal creatures, so as close living quarters helped the lice spread, the war against lice became a social event as well. Men would meet up to pick nits off each other, run a candle along the seams of their clothing or crush the lice bugs. The name of this procedure was called ‘chatting up’ and you were invited over ‘to chat’. FMI
I get itchy just thinking about it.
Linda Andrews 