Taking a Break

The holiday season is always busy. There’s shopping and cooking, cleaning and baking, cards to write and make and decorating and visiting with friends and family.

It is also the time when new movies are released.

Disney movies. Family movies. Epic adventures to take you away. Although this wasn’t some either my husband or I did when we were growing up, we decided that around the second week of December we would treat our family to one of these movies and take a break from the holidays.

Okay, it is partly because I’m a huge Disney fan so this was a reward for me as well, but mostly it was escape pure and simple. Now that our children are older, we were a bit confused as to how this would play out. We weathered the teenage years, when they didn’t really want much to do with their parents. Alas adulthood has wrought changes and so has the entrance of boyfriends (my son will go because we’re paying and there’s usually lunch involved—he’s his father’s son).

This weekend found our kiddies still in bed and we decided to escape. Like the tradition it’s become, we saw a Disney movie (I’ll be honest, if I don’t see an animated more a year, I start twitching and thinking bad thoughts). Apparently I’m not alone as at the matinee of Frozen there were only adults in the audiences. True to the Disney brand it delivered a sense that all was right in the world. But… But there was an unexpected twist in the Disney tradition that must be what is creating the buzz.

Smiling, we went to lunch and scarfed down our food as we decided to make it a double feature. This time we went to see The Hobbit. This movie had lots of kiddies. In fact somehow when we weren’t looking a troop of them filed in an sat down right in front of us. Given that they were small, the seat aligned on steps and that the movie was very long, their frequent potty trips were not nearly the distraction that it would have been in an older theatre. And, bonus, they even cleaned up after themselves.

We didn’t leave this theatre smiling because of where the story ended. Instead, if I could have harnessed Smaug I would have sicced him on the directors and producers. Still, it was a nice break and next year we’ll do it again, if only to see the Hobbit trilogy end.

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Look, Up in the Sky

I’m woman enough to admit that I missed the  meteorite shower that stretched from Las Vegas all the way down to Tucson, AZ on Tuesday. I’m sure I had a very good reason—like I was sleeping or too cold to go outside.

Thankfully the radio told me I might be able to catch an encore performance on Friday and Saturday night. Alas, I have no vampire gene so I went to bed just a few scant hours after night fall.

But…

I do get up early in the morning to walk the dog. Since we had to take my oldest to the airport at 6am, hubby decided to accompany me. While the pooch was busy going nuts over the scent of fresh coyote pee, I kept one eye peeled for glowing eyes (I wear a head lamp) and the other to the sky.

Oooh. Aaah. I saw three as I walked west bound.

Hubby saw nothing.

We turned south. Oooh. Aaah. Two more faint white lines streaked across the sky.

Hubby saw nothing.

We headed east for home. Two more faint ones.

Hubby saw nothing.

I was beginning to have a Charlie Brown Halloween flashback when a very bright one streaked across the horizon.

Hubby saw it.

Then we loaded up the kiddies into the car and I drove to the airport. There dead ahead of the passenger side was another bright on.

No one in the car saw it except me.

Some people just miss out on all the fun. Hubby says I should have had my eyes on the road not the sky. I think he’s just jealous.

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Friday Funny—Old Testament Computing

Thanks to Hugh for passing along this bit of funny.

How it all started.

Old Testament computing….

This is hilarious. Whoever wrote it is a genius.

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?”

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How, dear?”

And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.

He said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.”

And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”

“YAHOO,” said Abraham.

And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that’s the truth.

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Friday Funny—Links of Laughter

I’ve been collecting them a while, so click away, you’re bound to find something to make you smile:

 

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The Ever Changing Meaning of Words

Continuing a bit with my grumbling from Monday, I want to ask you for your considered opinion. What does it mean to you if a person volunteers?

Dictionary.com defines it as: a person who performs a service willingly and without pay.

I belong to many, many writing groups and all of them rely on volunteers to keep the organization running. I myself volunteer for far too many things and find those tasks cutting into my writing time or time spent with my family. But I volunteer because it helps the group and I benefit from the support and knowledge of the group.

I suppose that is a payback, but I also see it as part of a social contract we need to keep our society functioning (and this belief is obnoxiously evident in all my books).

Recently, someone mentioned that the only reason they volunteered is so that they might receive a benefit given to them at the cost of others of the group. It also resulted indirectly in a monetary benefit to the individual.

I’ll admit it. The notion ruffled a few of my feathers. And it isn’t an age thing. This person was older than I.

So, my question to you is this—is the definition of volunteer changing? Is the new definition to be a person who performs a service willingly and with the expectation of some perk given to himself at the expense of others?

 

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Bah Humbug Beginnings

I love Christmas. I love the lights, the food, the family and the smells of the holidays. We bought our Christmas tree on Friday and I woke up in the early hours of Saturday morning thinking there was a fire somewhere. Hubby got up to check and realized it was the tree. Doh!

Saturday hubby had to work and I took baskets of fruits and veggies to my mom and dad’s house. While I was there I mentioned that they’re tree wasn’t up. Mom said they weren’t putting one up. Dad said they were. This isn’t the normal routine for my parents but my father begins his Chemotheraphy for his lung cancer next week for his birthday. The stress is beginning to show as they run from doctor to doctors appointment.

So I offered to put it up and take it down for them. Dad said he’d help. I think he can hid the pickle if he’s not feeling well.

As I was dragging out bin after bin of Christmas decorations for our own house, I began to see why after decades of doing it I could get tired of decorating. Then I started unpacking them and I found the lumpy dough ornaments and shoe print reindeer my children made, the snowman tea set that stacks up, the caroling carrousel, and the beaded chili ornaments my grandmother made and the vintage plastic tree from my late mother in law’s house. I have years of hallmark ornaments that the kids picked out as well.

Needless to say, the bah humbug beginnings was nipped in the bud as all those who’ve passed come by the visit.

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Friday Funny-Serious Priority Problems

Big thank you to Dan for this one!ATT00002 ATT00006 ATT00001 ATT00004 ATT00003 ATT00005

 

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Black and Blue Friday

As a rule I tend to avoid going out on the Friday after Thanksgiving. I don’t like crowds. Apparently, retailers are targeting folks like me by opening up on Thursday night. You would think by the amount of typtophan (turkey) consumed that folks would be a lot more mellow. Nope. I saw that lady with the tazer. Of course being opened on a day that folks should be forced to spend with their relatives is just not cool, so this Christmas season I’m boycotting those stores. Alright, I usually only shop at 2 of them anyway so it’s no big deal.

But that’s beside the point.

I really hate that a season supposedly about people, family and the friends we make has turned into a way to dump merchandise that isn’t selling. And given that most folks out there are shopping for themselves, this just exacerbates the culture of me mentality. Of course for some folks, it’s a family tradition and they’re out there with their family, so there you have it. So maybe buying stuff you don’t need is really just a new tradition.

Now, I’m off topic.

As I said, I don’t like going out, but you youngest daughter is faintly evil (she won’t come into her true evil powers for another 7 years or so, just like her dear ol’ mom). Whilst I was baking an almond cranberry pie, she was perusing a Joann’s ad and wanting to know if we were going because there was some penguin fabric she admired. I said no and what did we need with that fabric anyway? She didn’t know but she was sure I needed a new sewing machine. Um, yeah, but the old was works most of the time and I didn’t need 50 stitches when I sew only (mostly) straight lines when quilting. She kept pointing to the ads and asking me to look. I refused. Then she shouted, “cockroach.”

And I looked.

Doh! There was no cockroach right next to my mixer (thank heavens). She tried it a few more times, but I didn’t fall for it after the 2nd time.

Later, she was working at her computer in another room when she shouted, “cockroach.”

Having learned my lesson, I didn’t look nor did I come to the rescue. She sicced her cat on it and my husband found a dead cockroach on the floor early the next more. So Mom and Child each learned a lesson— She learned about Karma and I learned that mother’s guilt can cause a person to do things they don’t really want to do.

Thankfully no tazers were involved in the lesson.

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Nutty for Coconuts

Christmas baking means almond joy bars. Which means coconuts.  This year we received coconuts in our coop fruit and veggie baskets. Fresh coconuts. I think I drooled.

then I remembered how to get at that meat.

it involves a hammer. Santa came early this year. No sooner had I smashed open the first one then I thought there has got to be a better way. So I consulted the font of all things– The internet.

Turns out if you freeze the things it’s easier to get the meat out of the husk. That only leaves the inner covering. The internet says you can use a potato peeler.

the internet lies.

I ended up using a paring knife before putting the bits in the food processor and shredding it. The good news is I have several cups to spare and I have no fingerprints so I can go on a crime spree. Next time, I think I will just buy the preshredded stuff.

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Friday Friendly—Something for the Holiday Season

My friend Hugh sent this to me. And so I’m passing it along to everyone I’ve met through an online connection, my books (or theirs) as well as family and long-time friends who visit my blog.

I thought of you today

Description: Description: cowboy & dog

An old cowboy was riding his trusty horse followed by his faithful dog along an unfamiliar road. The cowboy was enjoying the new scenery, when he suddenly remembered dying, and realized the dog beside him had been dead for years, as had his horse. Confused, he wondered what was happening, and where the trail was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall that looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch topped by a golden letter “H” that glowed in the sunlight.

Standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like gold.

He rode toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. Parched and tired out by his journey, he called out, ‘Excuse me, where are we?’

‘This is Heaven, sir,’ the man answered.

‘Wow! Would you happen to have some water?’ the man asked.

‘Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.’

As the gate began to open, the cowboy asked, ‘Can I bring my partners, too’

‘I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.’

The cowboy thought for a moment, then turned back to the road and continued riding, his dog trotting by his side.

After another long ride, at the top of another hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a ranch gate that looked as if it had never been closed. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

‘Excuse me,’ he called to the man. ‘Do you have any water?’

‘Sure, there’s a pump right over there. Help yourself.’

‘How about my friends here?’ the traveler gestured to the dog and his horse.

‘Of course! They look thirsty, too,’ said the man.

The trio went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with buckets beside it. The traveler filled a cup and the buckets with wonderfully cool water and took a long drink, as did his horse and dog.

When they were full, he walked back to the man who was still standing by the tree. ‘What do you call this place?’ the traveler asked.

‘This is Heaven,’ he answered.

‘That’s confusing,’ the traveler said. ‘The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.’

‘Oh, you mean the place with the glitzy, gold street and fake pearly gates? That’s hell.’

‘Doesn’t it make you angry when they use your name like that?’

 

‘Not at all. Actually, we’re happy they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.’

Description: Description: water pump

Sometimes, we wonder why friends forward things to us without writing a word. Maybe this explains it:

When you’re busy, but still want to keep in touch, you can forward emails. When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep in contact, you can forward jokes. When you have something to say, but don’t know exactly how, you can forward stuff.

A ‘forward’ lets you know you’re still remembered, still important, still cared about.

So the next time you get a ‘forward,’ don’t think of it as just another joke. Realize you’ve been thought of today and your friend on the other end just wanted to send you a smile.

Description: Description: dipper

P.S. You’re welcome at my watering hole anytime…

I mean it now  …  Ya Hear?

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