Support Small Businesses—Dog Eared Pages Bookstore

Hey, who else would a writer support but a bookstore:D Even better, Melanie’s shop has an online search tool so I can find my books before I go.

Instead of fighting the mall traffic, visit your neighborhood bookstore and discover a more meaningful gift this year. (You do know most of those gift cards you’ve been giving are still tucked in a drawer somewhere, don’t you?)
 
Not sure where to go? Coming up is Small Business Saturday on November 30th, and Dog-Eared Pages in Phoenix presents Authorpalooza. Ten amazing Arizona authors, just in time for holiday shopping (almost like they planned it that way).  “Besides,” Melanie, the owner of Dog-Eared Pages says, “it’s so much fun to fill the store with the creative, talented minds of authors.” 
 
Starts at 2:00 on Saturday, November 30th.
color Book Signing at Dog-Eared Pages Nov
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Early Christmas Shopping—The Cooking Spree

Yes, it’s that time of year again. No, not for present shopping. That happens on December 24th. I’m talking about the shopping before the holidays, the one I do to support my baking habit.

One of the things I love about the cooler weather is the ability to turn on the oven without giving the AC a fit and the AC company executives a trip to the Bahamas. So while most look forward to soup season, my family anticipates homemade breads, cookies and pies. Think I’m kidding?

Here’s what I purchased on my recent Costco trip:

50 lbs all-purpose flour

50 lbs granulated sugar

5 dozen eggs

7 lbs butter (the real stuff—some salted, some unsalted)

2 lbs vegetable shortening

1 gallon canola oil

500 mls vanilla extract

30 mls almond extract

1 package cocoa

baking soda

Baking powder (2 canisters)

5 lbs chocolate chips

2 lbs semisweet bakers chocolate

2 lbs yeast

2 lbs rye flour

large size of instant oatmeal

3 lbs brown sugar

2 lbs powdered sugar

4 cans evaporated milk

4 cans sweetened condensed milk

7 large cans of pumpkin (I might have gone a smidgen overboard with this one)

1/2 gallon whipping cream

1/2 gallon egg nog (for baking with)

32 oz of plain yogurt (instead of sour cream)

6lbs of cream cheese

3 lbs of Arizona honey (if you have allergies and aren’t allergic to bees, honey produced in your area may help)

Large box of oreo cookies (cheese cake crust)

3 lbs of Hershey’s kisses (for peanut butter blossom cookies)

2 jars of nutella

I already had the nuts, peanut butter

Since my old pans were rusting, I also bought 2 sets of cookie sheets (Small, medium and large) and 3 sets of cooling racks at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Dang, I should have bought some spatulas:D I also bought a new 8x8in pan perfect for fudge. And did I mention the freezer bags. Cold sugar cookies are amazing provided I can get to them before my son.

I take baking seriously and kneading dough is a great way to slap something around without damaging anything. I’ve already made 3 loaves of pear cinnamon bread, which is a new recipe. And while most of my supplies will be made into yummy things to eat by Christmas, the flour, yeast and sugar will last until summer’s end.

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Something to Make You Smile-Dogs and Cats

These are priceless:

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A Warning From Beyond…

the fortress of snot rags. Get. A. Flu. Shot.

There. I’ve said it. Now, let me pass along some gross statistics.

We returned from a trip and wham got a proper beat down by the flu the very next day. Cold/Flu bugs transmission is 100 times more effective on a plane than usual thanks to the dry, recycled air.

I had a fever. Despite what most folks think, a fever is part of an immune response. In a buffered system such as your blood stream, any slight change in temperature creates a hostile environment. One the body hopes will kill the invader without shutting down organs. Why a high temperature is so bad (105+ F), is that the hydrogen bonds start to break down. For those who don’t know, hydrogen bonds condense thousands of miles of DNA into itty-bity packets called chromosomes (you need a microscope to see these folks). If all that DNA unraveled… Well, that would not be good.

And a sore throat from the buckets of snot I produced. A sick person can produce 2-4 Liters (look at the soda bottle then look at the tissue box, then look at the soda bottle) of mucus a day. I’m sure I blew that average. It sucks to be above average on some things:D

Thankfully, I took half a shot of rum to help my throat, then promptly vomited it up and sometime in the night up came that chocolate cake from the cruise. It cured my sore throat. Your mileage may vary, but I’m not one to fight the gag reflex. If my body wants something out, I say okay. After all it rarely complains at the stuff I put in it.

What I hate most is the evil flu trifecta of cough, snot and vomit which throws off my equilibrium so that flat on my back in bed, the world is still dancing a fandango. Bleah. Someone needs to disconnect the snot-bone and cough-reflex from the eustacion tubes. That’s just bad design.

And no, I won’t mention that hallucinations. Because they’re just plain fun.

Now go get your shot. You’ve been warned.

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What You Never Wanted to Know about Daylight Saving Time

First, it isn’t savings. The ‘s’ has apparently been banned. Second, while there used to be a bank called Daylight Savings Bank. No one could ever make withdrawals. And lastly, the US congress can’t even get the time balance to adjust correctly as legally the time change forward is at 0159 to 0300 and the time back at 0300 is to 0200.

Yep, those greedy congressman are stealing time from us innocent citizens.

Perhaps, they were combining the stores in the even of nuclear winter, we had stockpiled sunlight.

Of course, if so, it would be in a bunker somewhere where only they and their rich masters could access it.

But I digress.

Contrary to popular opinion (at least in the US), Benjamin Franklin didn’t invent Daylight Saving Time. He did write a satire about daylight and the French, but that was about it. Time hadn’t actually been standardized by then. It took the railroads another 100 years to establish time zones.

So were did the idea come from? Many sites credit (wait for it) a New Zealander with the invention. He apparently wanted more time in the evenings. He published 2 papers on the idea then it was forgotten until roughly 1909 when an Englishman brought it up again.

It was, of course, poo-pooed.

Then came a little thing called World War I (or the European War). Germany adopted it first in 1916 to save coal for the war effort. Belgium followed suit, because, well, Germany occupied it. Then the British and French followed.

The US waited until 1918. And people hated it. Especially the bars as they had to close and hour early. So, in 1919, the law was repealed.

Early in its use, the switching of time during the summer months did save money as most energy was used in the evening hours.

And so during World War II, President Roosevelt switched the US to War Time. Then after the war, those states who chose could switch to peace time. Imagine 48 states all doing their own thing. And in some cases towns in the various states changing while their neighbors didn’t.

So, enter the ever paternal congress who mandated the changes and standardized everyone, except Arizona who doesn’t observe it (The Navajo nation does, but the Hopi nation surrounded by the Navajos do not—don’t ask that would be a very long post). Neither does Hawaii as they are close to the equator and are quite happy with their daylight as it is.

The days of the beginning and ending of DST has changed many times since its incarnation (the latest thanks to the folks who bring us Halloween candy) and no one can really decide if there is any saving any more.

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The Zipper

I heard a version of this by a comic on the cruise. This was funnier.

In a crowded New York City at a busy bus stop,A woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to to the height
of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn’t.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more.
For the second time,attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, “How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!’

The Texan smiled and drawled, “Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends.”

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1910 Ford

As I continue waging my war against the flu, I thought I’d pass this along. I don’t know about you but I would really like to own that car.

This has been around before but it was fun to read again.

1910 Ford

Make sure you read all the statistics under the photo.

This has only been 103 years ago…Amazing!!!

http://www.conceptcarz.com/view/photo/81566,6976/1910-Ford-Model-T_photo.aspx

Show this to your friends, children and/or grandchildren!

The year is 1910, over one hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes!

Here are some statistics for the Year 1910:

***********************************

The average life expectancy for men was 47 years.

Fuel for this car was sold in drug stores only.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower !

The average US wage in 1910 was 22 cents per hour.

The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME.

Ninety percent of all Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!

Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as ‘substandard.’

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

There was no such thing as under arm deodorant or tooth paste.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

The five leading causes of death were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza

2, Tuberculosis

3. Diarrhea

4. Heart disease

5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas Nevada was only 30!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn’t been invented yet

There was no Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn’t read or write and only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !

I am now going to forward this to someone else without typing it myself.

From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD…all in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years…

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Happy Veteran’s Day

A very big thank you to all who have served in the United States military.

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And sorry for posting this a day early. I’m still learning my way around the new wordpress app.

Last year, I wrote about why Veteran’s Day was 11/11.

This year I’d also like to mention that prior to the end of World War I, America was called THESE United States.

Plural.

The North and South had still not reconciled after the Civil War and each celebrated their veterans with remembrances on separate days.

Upon the death of so many soldiers and to stand behind our soldiers, we stopped referring to ourselves as separate states forming one nation but simply as one nation.

THE United States.

One People behind their men/women in uniform.

And this year, perhaps we can repay their service by demanding our elected officials do their part to return these husbands/wives/brothers/sisters/fathers and mothers to their families and not hold their treatments, medical care, and benefits hostage to bipartisan BS.

It’s time for politicians to stop standing in front of the flag but behind it and the principals upon which so many have sacrificed.

 

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Friday Funny-Politics for Dummies

This is sure to offend someone, but enjoy it anyway. If we can’t laugh, we’re really screwed:D
  Politics for Dummies
 DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
 
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
 
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
 
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk,
and run a hundred miles an hour
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good..
RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in
  Afghanistan , which are two..
You don’t milk them because you cannot touch any creature’
private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them..
BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he’s French, other times he’s Flemish..
The Flemish cow won’t share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow’s milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy
FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the
black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither
Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real   California  cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

 

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Free Writers Workshop

For those in the Phoenix area:

Eighth Annual Fall Workshops

A day of free writers’ workshops
Organized by the Desert Rose Chapter of
Romance Writers of America,
for all writers of fiction

Saturday November 09, 2013
10:15 am to 4:30 pm

SCOTTSDALE CIVIC CENTER LIBRARY

3839 Drinkwater Blvd – Scottsdale, AZ 85251

Free admission – no registration necessary – first come, first served
Autographing of books in the downstairs lobby

MAIN EVENT 1:30 pm: PANEL:

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET HAPPILY PUBLISHED TODAY?
Erin Quinn, Gini Koch, Pamela Tracy, Calista Fox, Vijaya Schartz

MORNING WORKSHOPS:

10:15 to 11 am:

CREATING THAT FATAL FLAW – Laurie Schnebly
PLOTTING – Tina Gerow
WHAT’S YOUR BRAND? – Kris Tualla

11:15 to 12 noon

CROSSING THE WRITING LINES – Pamela Tracy
RESEARCHING THE NOVEL – Donna Hatch
FINDING YOUR VOICE – Gini Koch

AFTERNOON WORKSHOPS:

2:30 pm to 3:15 pm

THE ART OF SEDUCTION – Linda Style
BETA READERS AND CRITIQUE PARTNERS – V.S. Nelson
AUTHOR PROMOTION – Vijaya Schartz & Morgan Kearns

3:30 pm to 4:15 pm

BE A WORD ARCHITECT – Ann N. Videan
FROM COSMOPOLITANS TO COLLABORATION – Erin Quinn & Calista Fox

Most speakers will provide handouts.

Visit the authors in the lobby. Feel free to ask questions and chat,

and get an autographed copy of their latest books.

Hope to see you there.

Please, feel free to forward this information to any interested groups or
individuals.

Thank you.

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